The four pillars of your children’s success    076

(i) education, hard work and personal development; (ii) correct career choice; (iii) effective and sustainable personal relationships; and (iv) dynamic wealth building

So many parents are trying so hard to enhance their children’s success. But parents must be trying in all four areas as significant failure in any one area will bring the whole building down. Let’s briefly talk about each area and emphasise the key points. This article takes the wide angle view.

Education and hard work seem obvious and this is what most parents think about, worry about, and try to improve in various ways.  However, what needs to be stressed is the personal development aspect.  Just being smart and achieving good results is not enough. No, not now that there is so much competition in Australia.  Things have changed.  Now your children do need to climb Mount Everest in their pyjamas, and be leading a team up there. I have covered the need for personal development in the long article, “Why your child needs to climb Mount Everest…”.

Career choice is an obvious issue that almost always just sneaks up on parents and children and then wreaks havoc.  The vast majority of Year 12 students have little or no idea, and then finally, exasperated parents make the decision for them—which then often has to be changed later, wasting time and money, as well as the emotional upheaval. Again, I have written a number of articles on this.  In brief, parents need to ensure children are having a range of experiences outside the home and interacting with people, and then reflecting on that.  The appropriate choice should be an area which the child enjoys, is good at, earns sufficient money with a good chance for growth, and an area which fits with the child’s beliefs and values. Start thinking about things early, say at least by Year 10, as subject choices at school for Year 11 have to be made.

Effective and sustainable personal relationships is vitally another vital area. Many young people need a good healthy relationship to be able to achieve their best occupationally.

Flip the coin and it’s obvious that conflict and marital alienation, separation and divorce can be shockingly destructive. For too many people significant successful occupational success is ruined by divorce and its financial and emotional aftermath—and the effects continue for years.  Viewed from this perspective, relationship management is of equal importance with academic success, and yet parents give it so little attention, assuming things will work out.

The need for successful relationship management is always there, and problems can begin early, even during university years. Your child may have to write an essay but he or she is distracted—a small relationship hiccup may have meant that he or she missed out on the usual kiss and cuddle so now moodiness and grumpiness set in and that essay isn’t going to get the attention it deserves. It is hard to write when you are upset and your mind is on something else—and at university it is already hard enough. Actually there are good arguments for having no serious relationships during university at all. I have covered this in my article “Romantic relationships at university? Proceed with caution”.

And last, wealth creation and management. Now habits of saving and money management can be taught from an early age and then children move into the big stuff such as buying property and building assets with a view to becoming financially independent. Owing and operating a business may be part of this. Parents can teach by example and by direct involvement, but it’s a big area and some parents may need to get assistance.  Over time young adults, even on moderate incomes, can achieve surprising results.

So here’s the big big point—parents need to give attention and action to all four pillars and not make the mistake of thinking that good school marks is all that matters. No, no, no—not at all. Don’t allow your children to learn the hard way.

All content copyright—Mark Thackray—Australian Educational Services