What your Year 12 child needs from you and doesn’t need     014

Year 12 is a pressure experience for both students and their parents. The workload has increased, it has become far more serious, formal and organised, and in addition there are issues such as the selection of a university course. Many parents and students only wish, it seems, to stay alive and survive. However Year 12 is a year of golden opportunities, the entrance portal to a new and fulfilling stage of life. But if this is to happen both parents and students have a job to do. This entry deals with the role of parents.

First, I’ll start with the mistakes—and there are three. The first is to abandon your child and leave everything up to him or her. Well even the best student cannot manage well alone—there are too many connections which have to be made with the external world, and there are too many resources which have to be accessed. The second mistake is the reverse, where parents micromanage everything, even reading the books that the student has to study and also watching the films. The parent tries to become a closely involved and supportive friend, who goes through the experience with the student. This is not helpful; it is suffocating. The third mistake is to treat any help given to the student as an ‘investment’, and I have had a mother sit across the desk from me and use that exact word. An investment of course implies a return from the student and such an obligation can only increase educational stress. So keep away from these three negative approaches.

The first contribution parents can make is to keep the household running smoothly—food, washing, study facilities, a quiet environment and transport to and fro. These are the basics, and parents should not suppose that doing them isn’t helping. Without these basics children are more likely to become ill.

Second, parents should develop and maintain a fully functioning computer system for their child. If possible a large sharp monitor should be provided, ideally close to 27 inches in size. This is the size which professionals use and surely your child’s study is just as important. A quality monitor makes doing work much easier. The printer is quite often a major problem for the simple reason it is not working, or it’s run out of ink or toner. Please keep your child’s printer working. I will be writing soon in more detail about printers. The computer system also needs backing up and security protection arranged; two issues about which Year 12 students are surprisingly careless. In my experience about 20 per cent of students have some type of computer failure during Year 12.

Third, your child needs encouragement and support to visit university information days and career exhibitions. Sometimes major universities can choose the same date for their information days, which means parents have to provide effective transport. Sometimes combining with other students can be a good idea, but usually it isn’t because of the temptation to waste time and not really obtain the information necessary. Most universities these days provide special information sessions on ‘alternative pathways’, for example, and this can be important.

Part of all this driving around assistance involves students conducting their own programs of work experience, visiting buildings if they are interested in architecture, for example. Work experience can demonstrate commitment to a career area and this can be important in the award of scholarships and entry into professional occupational programs.

Fourth, sometimes there can be communication difficulties with the school, usually about which subjects can be studied or problems with assessment tasks.  Parents may need to get involved here, using telephone calls, letters or interviews as appropriate. There is only so much students can do before they do need parental assistance.

Fifth, Year 12 is a critical time for making applications for cadetships, scholarships and training programs etc. This requires a lot of organisation such as having an effective resume or CV as a starting point. Positions with large accounting firms, for example, are very difficult to obtain. Sometimes parents will have to purchase additional technology, for example, web cams as often preliminary interviews are conducted over the Internet. Even the clothes students might wear for interviews may have to have some sort of parental involvement.

Sixth, most students need help in making application for university courses. Parents are excellent sources of information for students trying to decide on career directions. It is good for your son or daughter to have someone to talk to the about this. Sometimes a relative such as an uncle or aunt might also be a good person to talk to.

So there are many things to do, fortunately not all at once. But as you can see there has to be steady commitment and demonstrated concern from the parents. Allow your child to organise as much of Year 12 as possible. Your job is to provide general support, and specific intervention for those aspects which are very difficult for students to do by themselves. Good luck.

All content copyright—Mark Thackray—Australian Educational Services